11.1.2003 (01:15:00)

I'm a bumbling fool. I can't really explain why. I just realized that I communicate with others much better if I don't talk. Sometimes I think I have autism or something. Although IQ test have shown me to hover somewhere in the 95 percentile, I do believe something isn't right. Perhaps sniffing all that rubber cement in elementary school was not the greatest idea. Despite my charm, I still constantly feel ill at ease around others.

Oooh. My phone just rang. It was Jon and Evan and the Heathers and Conan and a whole loud crew of Halloween-clad hooligans calling from a pizza place in Portland, ME. I miss my wonderful friends.

11.16.2003 (04:08:00)

Ok it has been over two weeks and I haven't updated this site or contacted any friends. My bad. I've been in a rut for a while and I think I'm finally climbing out. I'd try to explain, but it wouldn't matter.

Good news though. I met a very very nice girl. She even introduces me to music I enjoy. As most of you understand, that is a rare individual, given my well known musical snobbery. Despite her being all west coast and me all east coast, I think it could be cool.

We saw Elephant last week. Quite a chilling and disturbing movie, but nonetheless a must-see. It has a Memento-esque sequence to it and a great storyline.

Gillian Welch & David Rawlings will be playing at the 9:30 Tuesday night. Work may be sending me to Cleveland, but if that doesn't need to happen then I'm going to the show!

11.20.2003 (00:15:00)

Whoa crazy week crazy week. Sunday night Carolyn and I saw Azure Ray and Crooked Fingers (ex-Archers of Loaf guy Eric) at the Black Cat and last night we saw Gillian Welch (most of it :-) at the 9:30 Club. I've had almost no sleep, and have so much stuff to do. Lauren - I WILL CALL YOU BACK!! Sorry for being an ass, but honestly I haven't been near my phone much. Congratulations! For those of you who don't know, my friends Lauren and Chris are now engaged. Though that is wonderful in itself, it is quite something of a mystery to me. I'll be up front here, I didn't think they'd last longer than a teenage boy on prom night... but, they managed to find something special and it seems to be working out. That makes me happy, because they're both amazing people. Lauren has been my friend for about a decade now (despite my often appalling and un-friendly behavior) and Chris for about the same time. Chris played guitar with me in our first real band. Perhaps we will play together again someday.

On the other side of the coin, a pigeon shat on my head this morning on the way to work. A rather humbling experience. However, my fortune was reversed when FedEx delivered my new video camera today! This means I can start work on the films for my live performances. I'm extremely excited about this, because I've done nothing productive artistically for a couple years now and it's killing me.

Now I need to go to sleep. Somehow I got shafted into having to be at work by 6:30am because it is 'Computer Security Day' and I need to meet & greet since by chance my career happens to be in the field. Go figure. Oh yeah one more thing - the new album from Explosions in the Sky is amazing and I want all of you to go buy it now.

11.22.2003 (23:08:00)

From my window I can see I-395 cutting through the city (DC). All these cars, with people in them. Each person having a destination and a purpose to fulfill. I can also see hundreds of apartments, each with people - alone, pairs, families, all kinds of variations. Hundreds of thousands of people here. I often feel as though I am very different. Like my whole being is somehow different from everyone else's. We are always taught that each individual is special. I believe people who say that never tried to say hi to a stranger or find love in a person. When it comes down to it, we are all the same - just individuals trying to be noticed for the single purpose of finding love. We are ultimately setup for failure.

Last night as I was gazing out my window I noticed a constellation moving. It took hours, and somehow I managed to not move the whole time. In doing this I could picture our place in our galaxy as the rotation pattern became clear. It made me realize that our actions have no affect on the plan. A good friend of mine experienced a horrible tragedy last week. So bad that I'm sick to think about the pain she's going through and sad that nothing I can do will help. This world needs a giant slap to wake people up to the selfishness that surrounds us. I want each of you to call a person you care about but haven't spoken with for a long time. Make room in your life. You will never be remembered for your career or what you shortened your life to achieve. You will be remembered, if only for a lifetime, for the love you shared.

11.25.2003 (01:40:00)

I must say, those loveable kids over at the DC Metro PD must be trying extra hard to rake in some cash for the holidays. Last week, it seemed as though every vehicle on my street (4th SW) was booted Thursday morning. Kinda funny, since it didn't harm me none... and I often find humor in other's misfortune. However, now I'm bitter. Saturday I got a letter from those apes. A machine snapped a picture of my Jeep's ass as I was returning from Yum's Chinese with my sidekick. They say I was speeding and want $50. They can suck me, I want a trial. If I'm giving anyone money they're gonna have to work for it.

I just have to mention a couple really cool observations. Carolyn brushes her teeth while walking around the apartment. So do I. She eats very slowly. So do I. She loves not only fine indie music, but also certain thug jams that get the groove on. So do I. Despite my normally non-linear mood shifts, I've been in a rather stable mood lately. That is indeed a good feeling.

I will not be travelling for Thanksgiving, having opted to not take Friday off. I will just stay here in the crib. I may trot through some museums however. Maybe start some filming. So much to do.